I slam my palm on the steering wheel, wishing it were Mark's cheek. I slap the wheel again, imagining I'm doing the same to my so called best friends. They're all so smug about having sex with college guys, or with the quarterback or whoever is the jock of the month.It wasn't enough they were laughing behind my back for being the last girl in the whole team that was still a virgin. Noooo. I had to get dumped publicly, in the middle of the damn cafeteria, with all those people around, looking at me with amusement, pity or joy. The geeks and the popular crowd still see me partly as their own, and because I belong partly to the enemy camp, they were all happy to see me being humiliated.The car behind me honks when I don't notice the light turns green. I say a bad word and speed home. I should have the house to myself if I hurry. I was so embarrassed about what happened at lunch, it took all my courage to walk in the showers after practice. And I heard them there. Heard them laugh at me.. ‘That doesn’t seem fair,’ said Tomiko. ‘If Judy had nothing to do with it, why should she be punished?’ I was so wrapped up in my own sorrow that I didn’t pay much attention to how the others were reacting to Crystal’s death. I suppose I assumed that I had the most cause for sorrow having always been Crystal’s primary lover in the band, but in fact everyone was grieving. Jane and Jacquie could sublimate their grief with their anger. My sister was distracted by my near nervous breakdown. But we were all in a state of shock and distress: Philippa, Thelma, Bertha, Olivia, the Harlot, Jenny Alpha and, most of all, Tomiko. I suppose it was because I’d always thought of Tomiko as being somehow different from the rest of us that I never imagined she’d get so distraught. Tomiko was an ethnic Japanese woman with a Public School education and an Irish passport who managed the sound deck and was more often stoned than straight. But while we were in the crematorium she wept silently as she.
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